#I love cam all the more for it!!! but then I got into the fandom and everyone’s so intent on villifying the SHIT out of Johnny 😭

[abcdeception]

One take I’ve seen which sort of annoys me is this idea that if Jonathan really wanted to leave the show after Sebastian died, he could’ve just told Cam so & then he would’ve been free to live his life as he saw fit. Beyond the fact that we know he did tell Cameron he wanted to stop performing, or at least that he voiced some kind of protest about performing certain shows (from the final episode, Transposition), there’s the point that it’s really fucking difficult to say no to the people you care about.

(^ from Transposition, ~38:54)

From this scene alone we know that Cam had to talk Johnny into continuing to perform after their father passed; it’s obvious that Johnny values his freedom, though, so why did he ever agree to it? Primarily, because his brother asked him to, and he loves Cameron more than he wants to be free (this is true, at least, at the beginning of the show). It’s not as simple as just saying “No”. If that’s the line of logic we’re following, then Jonathan can’t carry any blame for asking Dina to retrieve the files that the FBI were hiding — she simply could’ve refused, right? Cameron, at the very least (and I do mean very least, because their father treated him like shit), got to go out and connect with people as himself. Johnny only ever had Cameron, so to deny his brother anything must’ve seemed impossible. I don’t want to start speculating about how that conversation must’ve gone because it’s counterintuitive to the point I’m trying to make, but I just think this idea (that all Jonathan had to do is tell Cameron he didn’t want to perform) is reductive, and also does a massive disservice to the really complex character dynamics at play in the show

[n1ghtwr1ter]

At the end of my latest TLT reread and it’s been physically painful attempting to read the last 40+ pages of Nona. Like, the short shrift that Gideon/Kiriona gets given by the people in the story…the theoretical good guys who honestly only see her as a thing, as a means to an end with an inconvenient dead soul attached to it… It makes me want to rip my own heart out of my chest.

Nobody has cared about Gideon her whole life. Most people, in fact, if they remembered about her at all, went out of their way to tell her how much they wished she didn’t exist. In the final chapters of Gideon, she finally gets the thing she’s been desperate for her whole life: somebody telling her that they need her, they care that she exists, and they badly want her to go on doing it. This allows her to make peace with the prospect that at the ripe old age of 18, she needs to die so that that person can go on living and living and living, using the castrated remnants of her soul as fuel to do so. Not a great way to go, but at least Gideon would get to be useful to somebody, would get to be remembered for something.

And then she wakes up in the wrong body, and finds out that her sacrifice - her attempt to be useful in the most selfless way possible, in that her self will no longer exist - has been rejected. And not only that, but the person she tried to give herself to - the one who was supposed to care about her - went to extreme lengths to make completely sure that she no longer remembered about Gideon.

She literally cut Gideon out of her brain.

And now, drifting along in the worst sort of half life where she’s inhabiting her body but it’s no longer really hers, in very obvious fashion - there’s holes in it, her heart is missing, and it’s got her shitty father’s handprints all over it (not even touching how much of a violation that is), indelibly - she finally meets back up with the small group of people who could theoretically be relied upon to be glad to see her again.

But then the one who was supposed to care about her most tries to kiss her (massively OOC for Harrow), and turns out to not even be there - it’s some weird baby inhabiting her body, and doing a really shit job of it too. The rest of them won’t stop talking about how they need her to break into the Tomb - as if she was just another key, same as the ones they worked together to acquire in Canaan House, just bigger and more inconvenient - and/or how they both fucked and killed her mom, who also (surprise, surprise) wished that Gideon had never existed, but saw her as a thing that needed to be done for the good of the mission.

Ultimately, they all make it abundantly clear - Palamedes, Camilla, Pyrrha, and especially Nona, all these people who are supposed to be kind and good and right - that they would prefer she wasn’t there. That it just be her body, with no Gideon attached - at least not Gideon the way she is now, broken and rejected and miserable. They would all far have preferred that she not have her own inconvenient thoughts and feelings and desires and impulses - that she just be inanimate and let the important people, the grown ups, get things done.

They wish she didn’t exist. Same as everybody else in her life, save one, and now she’s left wondering whether Harrow really meant it at all. Because if she did, she wouldn’t have left Gideon to Kiriona’s fate.

And honestly? Really, truly? I know everybody in the fandom loves Pal and Cam and Nona and Pyrrha, but in the end I couldn’t give less of a shit about them. They are fucking side characters, and as intriguing as Nona has been from a worldbuilding standpoint, I ultimately resent having been forced to read 400+ pages of filler bullshit about fucking side characters. I am a butch, and I’m here for my sarcastic, loving, angry, vulnerable, forgiving, and yes, inconvenient sword butch. I’m here for Gideon. But Gideon has been fridged for the last two books of the series in which she is supposed to be a, if not the, main character.

And it feels like almost nobody else in the fandom feels the same way, which, fine. I’m used to that. I’m also used to being told I’m projecting; and I’m used to being told that I’m inconvenient too, in my thoughts and my opinions and the mere fact of my existence. I spent the first eighteen years of my life being told I was inconvenient. Yet another point of overidentification with Gideon.

But in case anybody still thinks that Nona proves that Gideon was an asshole all along, think about all of the above. Think about how it would make you feel to come back from not just death but from the erasure of your existence, something you chose in order to save the life of someone you loved, and be told that you’re inconvenient. Think about how you’d feel if you’d been told all your life that it would be better for everyone if you didn’t exist. And then tell me that Kiriona isn’t in the right and that I should give a rat’s ass what happens to literally anybody else.

It’s Kiriona Hours up in this House, butches. We’ve spent long enough caring about people who would prefer we weren’t around. For once in our entire lives we were told we were important; we were told we mattered; we were told we were the main character. We were going to, if not get the girl and save the world, at least get to do something real, something important, something like being the hero.

But that’s over now; we’re back to being wrong and bad and inconvenient thanks to the simple fact of our existence. So it’s time to embrace it. Let’s be a little shit. Let’s be kind of a dick. Let’s have our own agenda, let’s play our cards close to our heartless chest, let’s allow our circle of empathy to contract to ourselves and maybe one more person. That’s where I’m at right now. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

[scuttling]

I Can Handle Me A Dangerous Man - Ch 6

Fandom: True Blood (TV) Pairings: Eric Northman/Female Reader or Eric Northman/OFC Word Count: 6,247 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dream sex, Masturbation, D/s situations, Knife play, Blood sharing Summary: Eric and Cam return to Melanie's, and on the way back, something changes between them.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

She knows she’s dreaming, because Eric is beneath her, and since she’s known him he’s always been towering over her, covering her, leaning into her space.

Her knees are spread around his waist and sinking into the fluffy comforter they’re on top of, his hands high on her thighs as he helps her bounce and grind on his cock. She feels the ghost of him inside her, knows pleasure in this dream, but it’s nothing like the real thing, doesn’t compare to even the real life press of his palm against her lower back. 

“I need more. So close, so close,” she chants, whimpering while his broad hands slide up to her breasts to squeeze them roughly, to close around her throat and make her face heat with the pressure. 

“I’m right here,” dream-Eric comforts, brushing his thumbs over her bottom lip. “Daddy’s right here, just give in. Please just give in, baby.” 

Her hairline prickles with sweat in this dream, the room warm and almost stifling around them as she works to bring herself off using his strong, gorgeous body. She drops a hand to her clit, rubs furiously until she’s coming and squeezing hard around his cock, crying out with the blissful feeling of release, of his hands, now on her hips so tight they must bruise.

She collapses on top of him, catching her breath against his chest, his hands moving soothingly up and down her back, over the sore spots on her skin. He praises her, perfect, Camila, good girl, makes her drift so far into another world she can’t remember anything but the sound of his voice in her ear.

She wakes up with no marks on her body, but one sticky hand between her thighs. 

Cam receives a text the next night - I’m hiring a new bartender. Will you come by and help me vet him? Pam will pick you up.

Eric is looking unfairly handsome when she arrives, especially after that goddamn dream of hers. He’s got a low cut tank on, baring his chest and throat, with a leather jacket thrown over the top—she almost feels underdressed in her turtleneck and jeans, but it’s still early evening and the club is closed, so she doesn’t think it makes a difference to anyone but her. 

“Camila, welcome,” Eric says, standing and walking toward her. He takes her handbag and shows her to the table where the prospective employee, Darren, is seated. The man stands when she approaches, and he’s good-looking too, with dark hair and blue eyes, a killer smile he unleashes the moment she takes his hand. 

“Hi, I’m Darren,” he greets, and Eric hands Cam’s bag to Pam and pulls out a chair for her. She smiles back and introduces herself, then sits down and waits for Eric to push her chair back in. Darren sits too, drums his fingers on the table between them. “I’m, uh, 29, used to bartend at The Regal before the manager ‘went in a different direction’—girls in low cut tops,” he explains. “I’ve been doing it for about five years, and I think I’d fit in well here. I’m definitely pro-vamp, you know, and I’ve hung out here with my friends a few times. Love the vibes,” he says, looking to Eric, who appears bored by the conversation.

Cam listens in to the things he’s not saying, like that he actually got fired for hooking up with the manager’s girlfriend, one of the aforementioned girls in low cut tops. She doesn’t think that’s a deal breaker for Eric, gives him a gentle smile. 

“Well that’s great to hear. Fangtasia gets all kinds, so having someone charismatic and open minded at the front of the house is important to us. It makes all of our guests feel at ease.” She lets a bit of flirtatiousness seep into her tone, a test, and he grins. 

“Well I’m all about making everyone feel at ease. They come here to have a good time, you know?” She nods, probes his mind again—just some low grade horny stuff, typical human thoughts, and he’s thirsty. She stands from the table and crosses over to the bar, grabbing a pitcher of water and a glass, then fills it and takes it back to him. When she sets it down, he thanks her, lets his fingers brush hers as he lifts the glass. “Do you come here to have a good time? Or are you strictly business?” 

“That’s not exactly relevant,” Eric speaks for the first time, leaning forward in his seat. Cam instinctively moves her chair a little closer and sits down beside him, clears her throat. 

“How are you with cash?” she asks Darren, whose smile has dimmed a little at Eric’s comment. He takes a sip of water and nods. 

“All good, I have a business degree and I’m great at math, so I always balance. And I tend to make pretty good tips.” 

She doesn’t doubt that, with his toned arms and charming smile; they talk a bit longer, and his thoughts corroborate what he says, no red flags or reason for concern she can pick up on. 

After the makeshift interview, they all rise and Cam shakes his hand, tells him they’ll be in touch. Though Pam already has his contact information and resume, he jots down his phone number on a napkin and hands it to her personally, “in case you have any more questions for me.” 

Eric doesn’t shake his hand, but he does pull the napkin from her grasp and crumple it up into a ball when he’s gone. 

“Hey,” she says lightly, following his long strides as he walks toward the trash can behind the bar and sinks a basket. “What if I had more questions for him?” 

“That wasn’t an offer for another interview, and you know it,” he replies, pouring a glass of water and handing it to her with an expressionless look on his face. “He wants to sleep with you.” 

“He wants to sleep with pretty much every girl he sees,” she counters, taking a grateful sip. “Including his previous manager’s girlfriend, which is the real reason he’s seeking work at your fine establishment.”

“I don’t know if he’s right for us.” Cam arches a brow, but Eric makes no effort to explain himself, so she’s left trying to figure it out on her own. 

“Because he cheated? I feel like that’s the least of your worries. He didn’t skim, he has no criminal background, he’s never gotten into an altercation with a customer. He’s not part of any anti-vampire groups,” she ticks off with her fingers. Pam’s initial research was very thorough, and Cam was actually kind of impressed. “He makes drinks and looks hot, which is really all you need.” 

She’s surprised when he moves closer, because even though that’s part of his usual MO, this time is different. His steps are slower, more purposeful; she’d think he was trying to intimidate her, if she didn’t know better. Or maybe turn her on? She can’t help that things like that cross the wires in her brain, how sometimes he’s even more attractive when he’s angry with someone or roughing them up.

“Is it all you need?” he asks when he’s in front of her, his voice sultry and low. “Or do you need more?” She exhales softly at his words, strangely similar to the words she’d uttered in her dream, and he brings a hand up to rest at the base of her throat, pressing his fingertips into her flesh. 

She does need more, wants more, from him—as good-looking as Darren was, she can’t imagine getting what she needs from anyone but Eric now. He is the man of her fantasies, the one who knows more than she does about her own desires, but she knows she can’t have all the things she wants, even if he’s willing to play along when they’re alone. 

And suddenly they aren’t alone, as Pam walks back into the room and clears her throat. 

Eric steps back, takes his hand off of her, and after a long moment of continued eye contact, she grabs her bag from behind the bar and heads for the door. 

“Just hire him,” Cam calls over her shoulder as she leaves.

She doesn’t hear from Eric for three days, until he shows up at her door just after the sun has set. He’s wearing a suit, all black, the first couple buttons of his shirt undone, and he both looks and smells absolutely mouthwatering. Whatever expensive cologne he’s got on is really working for him. 

“There’s another party at Melanie’s, and she was so impressed with you last time that she’s asked for your services again. Are you willing?” She nods, takes a step back to invite him into the apartment. 

“What does she want to know?” she asks, closing the door behind him.

“She and her pet have found another couple they’d like to play with,” he says, following her to her bedroom, where she tugs open the closet doors to inspect her options. “The dominant partner is human and Melanie would like you to get a read on him.” 

She nods, flipping past hanger after hanger because nothing feels quite right for a party like Melanie’s; she stops when Eric moves closer with a soft hum of interest and pulls out a clingy little black dress with short ruffled sleeves and hem. It’s not what she would have selected, a little too cute, and she turns to him and says so. 

“Won’t they expect me to look… I don’t know, sexy?” He holds the dress up to her, adjusts the neckline.

“They’ll expect you to look exactly the way your dominant wants you to look,” he says without making direct eye contact. “You’re free to choose, of course, but I think this one is perfect.”

When he does look at her face, he seems… Thoughtful, serious, almost smoldering as the silence between them evolves from a few seconds to a long, charged moment. They’re both breathing, but that’s all, eyes locked, bodies still, until she takes a step back and pulls her sweater over her head, tosses it onto the bed behind him. She’s not wearing a bra—though he can only see her from the back, now—but the dress doesn’t allow for one anyway, so that’s just one less step as far as she’s concerned.

Cam takes the hanger from his hands, slips the dress on, then unbuttons her pants and kicks them off, leaving them on the floor where they land. She tugs her hair out of the ponytail it’s been in all day, combs her fingers through it and then pulls it over one shoulder, exposing her back to him. 

“Will you zip me up?” she asks, and he runs a hand over her hair, wraps his fingers around her arm, and pulls up the zipper slowly, purposefully, until it’s secure. Fixing her hair, she thanks him with a soft smile, then grabs a pair of shoes and sits down on the bed to buckle them up.

The drive to Melanie’s is strangely tense, and she can’t stop herself from looking over at him, at his silhouette in the dark. She can’t see his eyes, but her gaze lingers over his jaw, his chin, his Adam's apple, his lips… She’s not sure if it’s because of their stolen moment at the bar the other day, or the dreams she’s been having about him, but just looking at him turns her on and she only manages to look away when he turns his head and catches her. 

His stoic expression cracks into a smile, but she doesn’t think too much into it, knows that her want just makes him enjoy their little game all the more.

This party of Melanie’s is a bit more private than the first, with seven couples in attendance, including Eric and Cam. A few of them she knows from the last get-together, a few she’s never met—including the reason she’s there, the couple Melanie wants her to check out before she commits to a date with them.

“That’s the one,” Eric says into her ear when they first walk into the room, and Cam spots the man he’s referring to right away. He looks to be in his fifties, wealthy, handsome, with dark hair and eyes, and a beautiful blonde vampire who appears to absolutely adore him. She is wearing a single strand of pearls and a wine-colored dress, hanging on his arm and his every word. 

“I can see why Melanie’s interested,” she whispers back, and Eric puts his arm around her waist, maneuvers her in front of him as if guiding her from behind. It feels nice to be taken care of by him, and it’s what their fellow partygoers expect, so she goes with the flow, let’s him lead her where he wants, to Melanie and her pet at the bar. 

“Eric, Camila. You two look positively gorgeous,” she says with a toothy smile, looking both of them up and down languidly. Her dark hair is in bountiful ringlets, and she wears a navy blue suit, which pairs nicely with her pet’s silky pink mini dress and silver heels. She wears her collar, of course, which tonight is connected to a matching silver leash that Melanie holds carefully between her fingers. 

“And the both of you are beautiful, as always,” Eric says, removing one of his hands from her body to take Melanie’s and kiss it. “Thank you for inviting us.”

“You’re always welcome here,” she says, and her eyes rake over Cam again, to her surprise. Why she’s looking at Cam when she has Eric’s attention is beyond her. “It’s a shame you aren’t the type to share, but I do love seeing you nonetheless.” 

Cam knows better than to indicate her confusion, to look like she’s questioning him here, so she holds her tongue for the rest of their brief conversation. 

After they grab drinks, Eric walks her to an armchair on one side of the room and sits down, his legs spread just enough that she understands it’s an invitation perch on his lap. That’s new, and it makes her shiver, but she figures it’s just practical—they can’t talk here without whispering, and it won’t look as suspicious if she’s sitting in his lap and murmuring in his ear.

“What was that about?” she asks as she settles on his lap, his thigh firm and cool beneath her. She wraps her arms around him, one behind his shoulders and the other slung over his waist, and he keeps her close, rests his hand on the bare skin of her leg.

“With Melanie? Nothing.” 

“You promised you wouldn’t lie to me, Eric,” she reminds him with an edge to her voice, because she’ll call an Uber and leave this party if he insists on keeping information from her, she has no hesitations about that. 

He sighs, then moves her hair away from her neck and brushes his lips along her throat. 

“I told you they were looking for another couple to play with,” he whispers in her ear. “She asked me first—if you and I would be interested. Obviously, I declined.”

She hums her understanding—certainly not because of the way his mouth trails along her neck, his hand resting between her thighs. She wants to be mad at him, because he’s obviously trying to soften her up, distract her, and cover up their conversation all at once… and because it’s working. Then she thinks, screw it, because he’s never going to stop teasing her this way, playing his game, and in that case, she might as well enjoy it.

“That explains why she’s looking over here like she’s starved for a meal.” Eric nods against her skin, runs his hand up and down her leg, and Melanie’s attention is even more targeted, her stare unyielding. Cam’s not looking directly, but she can feel her eyes on them and wants to make sure there is no doubt about their commitment this time. “You should kiss me,” she says quietly, and when he pulls back to look at her she meets his gaze. 

Whatever he sees there, that’s all it takes for him to comply; his mouth is on hers in an instant, his hand moving from her legs to her face and cradling it as they kiss. She can feel her body warming up, and his, as he grows hard against her ass, and she brings a hand up to his shirt, rubs at the bare skin exposed by the undone buttons.

“Mmm, daddy.” Her voice is breathy when she says it, but he groans and breaks the kiss, looks at her with eyes so dark it’s hard to tell they’re blue. She licks her bottom lip, and he leans back in to kiss her again, rougher this time, his hand deliciously tight on her jaw. 

When they part, she assumes it’s because of something Eric hears, because he seems reluctant to stop kissing but does it anyway. He runs his thumb over her lips, then slides his hand between her thighs again, but doesn't bother straightening his rumpled collar—which she finds out of character, and which she enjoys all the more for it. 

A few minutes later, Melanie brings over her prospective partners and introduces them as Joel and Amanda before slipping away to tend to other guests. They curl up on the sofa beside Eric and Cam, talk a little about themselves, what they do for work, for pleasure, listen intently when Eric talks about the bar and what it’s like to be a sheriff, and Cam. He talks a lot about Cam, how they met, how smart and capable and beautiful she is, and she knows it’s for show but lets herself be warmed by his praise anyway. 

Melanie and her pet—who Cam now knows is called Catherine—join the conversation soon after, snuggling up to Amanda and flirting with Joel, making the both of them laugh happily. Eric sips his drink, offers Cam hers, and because she feels strange just sitting silently in his lap she cards a hand through his hair, toys with the open buttons of his shirt between her fingers. He relaxes into her touch almost immediately, tilts his head just slightly like he’s enjoying it and wants more, and she leans in to whisper in his ear. 

“All good so far. He’s genuine. And horny,” she adds, though it feels obvious. “He’s enjoying the thought of dominating two vampires, if that’s something Melanie’s up for, but overall he’s pretty mild. He isn’t even thinking about the blood.”

Eric doesn’t respond, and she doesn’t expect him to, just continues to rub his hand up and down her thigh. She figures she deserves that for teasing him too, and slips back into conversation easily, continues filtering Joel’s thoughts for anything untoward.

It’s early morning when they leave, and Cam needs Eric’s guidance—more because she feels a pleasant humming in her mind, her thoughts hazy from all of the kissing, the touching, all of Eric’s attention, than because they’d been drinking. The friendlier Melanie and Catherine became with Joel and Amanda, the more physically comfortable, and when they would pause the conversation to kiss or pet a little, Eric would keep them busy by making out with her slowly, drawing patterns against her skin with his fingertips. By the time they make it to the car, she’s aching with want, and she knows Eric can feel it, smell it, see it. 

She spends the first half of the ride squeezing her legs together, trying not to think of his breath on her neck, his teeth at her ear, and then he reaches his hand toward her across the console, palm up like he wants her to take it. 

She takes it, and he squeezes softly, eyes never leaving the road. 

“You may touch yourself,” he says, low, and though she immediately flushes with embarrassment, the reaction is short lived. “Come in your panties like a good girl. You were so good for me tonight,” he praises, his voice like honey. “You always are.”

“Thank you,” she says almost automatically, and she runs her hand over her own thigh, a ghost of his previous touch. Her skin feels like it’s on fire, and she moans softly, earning Eric’s gaze. 

“Camila,” he murmurs, and she closes her eyes, eager but nervous, so horny it hurts her. He’s watching, but if she’s not watching him watch her, she’ll be less self-conscious, and more… uninhibited. She’ll let herself feel good because he’s given her permission to, clearly wants her to, and god, does she want to please him. 

She pushes her skirt up, knows he can see the purple lace panties she’s wearing, the ones she guides to the side so she can run her fingers over bare flesh. She’s wet, that’s no surprise, and she knows this is going to be quick, quicker because Eric is rumbling desire beside her and she wishes it were his fingers slipping through her slick. 

“Mmm. Ooh,” she sighs as she slides her hand over her pussy, her lips easily spread and warm beneath her touch. She arches her back a little and rubs harder, a little faster, to feel that electric shock through her body. “Oh, god.” 

“That’s it,” Eric encourages, squeezing her unoccupied hand, and her legs open wider almost instinctively, her hips tilting off the seat so she can press open her heat and ease one finger inside. “You’re fucking perfect,” he all but growls, and it vibrates through her, makes her buck her hips like she had in her dream, taking him in deeply, completely. “Another finger.”

She complies, sinks another finger inside; her hand is barely moving, it’s her rocking body that’s doing all the work, and part of her feels shameless and dirty, but the other part knows Eric wants this, is proud of her, maybe even worked her up on purpose so he could get her to do this in front of him. Either way, it’s a task she’s happy to perform, and when she comes on her own fingers she can hear the hitch of his breath, the wet snick of his fangs dropping.

The sound is almost enough to get her going again, but she’s exhausted and blissful, so she just hums her contentment before withdrawing her fingers and resting her hand on her thigh. 

They’re parked on the side of the road, she realizes when she opens her eyes, in a remote area that looks kind of familiar. She blinks through her lashes, then turns her head to look at Eric, who… god, how could he even get hotter? But he is, his eyes blue like sizzling fire, his lips parted; neither of them speak, but he takes her other hand and wipes her fingers clean using the inside of her dress before they have a chance to make her uncomfortable. With a gentle touch, he fixes her crumpled panties, then leans in to brush his lips over hers again and again and again.

Eric gets her home, gets her cleaned up and into bed, and she reaches for him, wants him near. He understands why, and he knows he shouldn’t have pushed her that far in the car, that it was a selfish idea, even if it was spur of the moment; still, it happened, and he is as responsible for taking care of her now as he is for her previous arousal. He stays as long as he can before the sun threatens, laying in her bed and holding her until her breathing evens out in sleep.

That morning when Eric dreams of Cam, she is covered in blood: it’s a mixture of his blood and hers, leaking sluggishly from wounds he’s created with his fangs, with a sharp knife, its handle made of bone. Her wrists are above her head, tied together with a cord of leather and fastened to the post of her bed, and she writhes and whimpers as he thrusts his fingers into her soaked pussy, as he sucks at the juicy artery of her inner thigh.

“Please, please,” she repeats like a prayer, her eyes squeezed shut and then open and nearly rolling back in her head. “God, Eric, please.” 

“You’ll take what I give you,” he says, leaning up, letting blood dribble from his mouth onto the soft flesh of her stomach as he kisses it, and she gasps, nods her head. 

“Yes, daddy,” she corrects, though she shifts her hips up for more contact like a greedy girl indeed. “Whatever you give me, I’ll–I’ll take it.” 

“Yes you will. Good girl,” he praises, licking at the spilled blood, and then swiftly flips her over, imagining the gorgeous smears of crimson she’ll leave on the fresh white sheets. 

He pushes into her from behind, presses forward on his palms until he’s fully sheathed inside her tight, fluttering heat, then clamps a hand down on the back of her neck, rough and possessive. 

“Take it, sweetheart, that’s right,” he mumbles as he fucks her, enveloped in the pleasure of her body, of the sweet sounds she makes for him, ones he’s actually heard firsthand; he’s craved domination since she first kissed him, maybe sooner, and he knows if she gives herself to him like this in reality, during the night, he will be lost. “Camila,” he pants, then leans in so he can press his cheek to hers. “Camila.” 

“Eric,” she moans as he pounds against her, as his fingers twist into her hair and pull, undoubtedly making her roots ache. “Eric.”

“Camila. Camila. Camila.”

It’s barely night when Cam all but bursts through the front door of Fangtasia, wearing a pair of black pants and a white tank top, her hair loose in flowing waves. She looks serious, concerned, beautiful. “Hey. Pam called, came to pick me up—what’s going on?” 

He knows he must look taken aback, because he didn’t have time to prepare his expression for that kind of questioning. He barely had time to register her presence.

“Nothing, I—Pam called you?” he verifies, and then Pam walks in the door, hovers behind Cam, though she doesn’t try to explain herself to him. Cam just nods and moves closer.

“Yeah. She said you needed me, that it was urgent,” she says, her eyes flicking over his face, his body, the line between her brows worried. This is so different from their last interaction, and he has difficulty wrapping his head around it.

“And you came.” He says it flatly, is able to conceal his… what is it, wonder, that she could care about him so much? As if she can tell anyway—and she probably can—she reaches for him, rests her hand on his forearm.

“Of course. Are you alright? Do you need me?” 

“I think you should drink my blood,” he says before he has half a second to even think about the implications of it. Cam clearly feels the whiplash of his statement, blinks slowly a couple of times as if processing it.

“Sorry, what? I must have missed some of the conversation,” she tells him, and Pam perks up over Cam’s shoulder, nodding rapidly. 

She’ll have to wait, because Cam is looking at him like he’s growing a second head.

“I think you should drink my blood. It would further strengthen our bond—you’d feel me if I were in distress, as I feel you. And I would be able to find you, if something went wrong. It’s more reliable than other forms of communication.” 

He thinks briefly about the ways they already feel each other and wonders absentmindedly if this will be the thing that actually pushes him over the edge of sanity. Cam considers him seriously and eventually nods.

“Okay. I should—I mean, we should do that, right?” she asks, looking up at him for confirmation. It makes him feel… special, to know his opinion matters this much to her. “Are there any side effects I should know about? I know your blood can heal, and I just consider that a perk.” 

Eric nods, and sighs, hopes what he tells her won’t put her off the whole idea.

“You may feel some physical changes for a while after you drink, like stronger senses, a bit more speed and agility. Mentally, you might find that I cross your mind more often. It’s part of the enhanced emotional tether we’d share. We’ll be even more attuned to each other’s state of being than we are now.”

She sets her bag down on the bar, but doesn’t appear phased by his admission.

“That’s good. It will help with the… stuff. The work, and the protection, mostly. So how do I—I mean, do you cut yourself, or bite yourself, or do I have to bite you?” she asks, gesturing to his neck. “I’m not sure I can bite that hard.” 

“I would cut or bite myself to bleed for you,” he assures, his throat nearly closing up as he says the words. Five minutes ago this wasn’t an option, and now they’re discussing the specifics like it’s about to become reality. He’s surprised to find himself overwhelmed. “It is a very strong bond, Camila,” he says as a final disclaimer, giving her time to think this over if that’s what she needs. “Very strong, but breakable, in time.”

“I’m not worried about that,” she says more quickly than she probably should. Part of him wishes she would worry—that he’s bad for her, that he’s pushed her this far already, that he wants her like he’s never wanted in his existence—but her tone is determined and sure. “Can we do it tonight?” 

“Yes,” Pam answers for him, walking up beside her. Cam drops her hand where she’d been touching Eric and takes a half-step away from him. “You can go do it now, in the office. It’s nothing ceremonial, just a quick nip and you’re on your way,” she says with a saccharine smile. Cam looks at her, tilts her head, and eventually looks back at Eric. 

“She’s being way too nice. Does she gain anything from this? Commission, or something?” Cam asks, half-joking, and it does lighten the mood and bring a huff of a laugh to Eric’s lips. He shakes his head.

“No, she’s just nice sometimes; I know it can be unsettling.” He puts his hand on her shoulder, walking toward the back of the bar and bringing her along beside him.

“Very,” Cam says as she glances over her shoulder at Pam before walking through the office door. 

Eric closes it and pauses, taking a deep, unnecessary but very needed breath.

“I know this is sudden, and what I’m asking of you is no small thing. If you need time to think it over…” Eric begins, his gaze soft on Cam’s face. Cam shakes her head.

“I know, and the same goes for you. I’m sure you’ve been thinking about this, weighing your options, and I want you to know I understand that it’s important to you, sharing your blood like this. I don’t take it for granted.” 

It takes him a moment to let that sink in, she thinks, can almost see the gears turning behind his eyes.

“I appreciate you saying that. It’s not something I do every day, but I am sure, if you are.” 

He steps closer to her, gently touches her face, and she flashes back to that night at Melanie’s, the ride home after. Her throat constricts and her heart pounds in her chest. 

That’s not what this is, she reminds herself. This isn’t dedication to each other, or something done out of lust or love. It will benefit them both, and Eric has decided the reward outweighs the risk. That’s all it is. 

Still.

“I’m sure.”

With that, he nods and steps backward toward the desk, then leans against it and tugs up the sleeve of his v neck sweater, displaying thick, pale forearm and smooth, unmarked wrist. His eyes, darker than usual—probably due to the dimness of the office—linger over her lips, then meet her own gaze, and he lets his fangs fall without the usual fanfare. 

She steps toward him and takes his hand, an acknowledgment of the seriousness of this, of the preciousness of this thing he’s offering; when he lifts his wrist to his mouth, their fingers are wrapped together. 

He punctures his own skin like he would a human’s, two small wounds welling up with blood—and the way he looks at her as he does it, like they’re already tethered, like he’s seeing into every corner of her… it makes her heart race, her face flush. She does what feels natural—and maybe that’s taking it a step too far, but she can’t help herself—and sinks to her knees, bringing their hands to about thigh level before catching the slowly falling drops with her tongue. 

At first, she sucks in a way that feels graceless and a little humiliating, so unfamiliar with this action in this context, but when Eric moans at the pressure of her mouth it becomes pure hunger. She takes his offering for the gift that it is, bunching the fingers of her other hand into the fabric of his sweater just over his stomach, and she drinks, and drinks, and drinks. 

It has to be more than enough, she thinks around a moan of her own—it’s less about the taste for her and more about the feel of it, slick on her lips and warmer than she would have expected—but when his free palm falls to the top of her head, pushing her hair back from the curve of her face, all she knows for certain is that she never wants it to end. 

It does, though, like all good things, and then Eric guides her to her feet and leans in for a deep, long, kiss that she feels with her entire body. He easily shifts their positions, so she’s the one propped against the desk, and then he pushes her onto it, curls his fingers around the back of her neck and keeps kissing. 

They trade groans as their mouths move, frenzied, her hands grabbing at his shoulders, his careful but possessive on her face and throat. Her legs are parted, and she wants to wrap them around his body, pull him in closer and closer until they’re as tightly pressed as she needs them to be, but he slows his kiss and ultimately, unfortunately, backs away. 

Icy blue eyes peer into hers as he moves fingers to her chin, tipping her face up so she’s locked in his gaze. Her chest heaves, and her body trembles like there’s something inside that wants to burst out of her skin and present itself to him, though she’s not sure what that may be.

“You will feel me, now,” he says, back to business as if he hadn’t just kissed her until she was lightheaded and thrumming with desire, as if he’s not hard in his pants, from the blood sucking or the kiss, she’s not sure. “I will find you, wherever you are.” 

“And I’ll find you,” she confirms, wetting her lips; she’s almost surprised to taste his blood there, metallic but sweet, even more surprised when he swipes his thumb through it and brings it to his own mouth. 

“All you need to do is call for me, and I promise I will come.”

“Why did you call her?” Eric asks Pam later, after Cam is long gone and the bar is closing up. Pam rolls her eyes and counts a stack of cash.

“Because I’ve had enough. You were moaning her name in your sleep,” she says, with an unsubtle hint that she finds the thought nauseating. She pauses her counting and flicks her eyes up to his. “I don’t normally like mixing business with pleasure, but I still think things would be better if the two of you just fucked already. And now that you’ve shared blood—” she begins, but he stops her with a look.

“She drank mine. I still haven’t tasted hers.” 

For some reason, that lights her eyes up, puts a smirk on her merlot-painted lips.

“Really?” she asks in a lilting tone. “I would have figured you’d taken a sip during one of your, ‘investigations.’”

It’s Eric’s turn to roll his eyes, and he walks away, but unfortunately, Pam follows.

“Why would she want me to? Why would she want someone like me? With the desires I have for her?”

“She’s not exactly an angel herself,” Pam tells him, and he turns abruptly on his heel, knows she must see fury in his eyes. She raises her hands in apology. “Easy. All I mean is, I’ve seen the two of you together. She knows you, darkness and all, and she still wants you. She’s practically shown her belly trying to submit to you—either that or she deserves a good damn Academy Award.”

“That doesn’t mean I should take advantage—”

“Eric, come on, you love taking advantage,” she says sternly, hands moving to her hips. She looks like a teenager, and he finds that agitating.

“Not like this,” he says, pointing a finger at her, ending the conversation effectively with just that gesture and a few final words. “Not of her.”

He doesn’t dream of Cam that night, doesn’t need to: he can practically feel the slip of cotton over her skin as she changes into pajamas, the softness of the pillow when she lays down her head.

[jennysparksandtheauthority]

I wish I could believe any Pricefield's criticisms in good faith, but this is the same fandom that harassed and abused Dontnod when Life is Strange 2 came out and it wasn't about Max and Chloe. The game got review bombed in the early days, and along with harassing the staff, the VAs and characters both received terrible racist comments. We also saw similar instances with True Colors. Harassment, review bombing, and racism.

Both Dontnod and Square/Deck Nine wanted to make this series into an anthology.

It was the Pricefield shippers who continually demanded the return of Max and Chloe.

Seeing how horrifically this fandom has treated so many people who worked on these games, many of whom are just as big of fans and passionate about it as they are, is it any wonder the latest entry is now a souless cash grab meant to bring in money banking on nostalgia while disrespecting the fans and hating on one half of a big ship?

And ever since the first two episodes of Double Exposure has come out, when the fandom isn't talking about Pricefield, I've seen nothing but transphobic comments about Gwen (constantly misgendering her and calling her a pedo because she's trans), racist comments towards Moses and Safi (accusing Moses of being the murderer just because he's black or being hoping Safi is going to die in both timelines because she's Arabic), bisexual erasure towards Max (which Michael confirmed was always supposed to happen, Square didn't influence her sexuality like so many of the fandom and the "former D9 employee" keep insisting), and attacking the VAs who are actually excited for this project and want to play the game on their youtube channels.

I used to love Pricefield when I was younger. I grew out of it as I got older because I saw all the flaws with the ship and figured out it wasn't for me. Any chance of enjoying the ship ever again was ruined by this fandom.

The Life is Strange fandom, and the Pricefield fandom especially, are incredibly entitled and bigoted. One of the worst fandoms I've ever had the displeasure to be a part of. And I'm not surprised at all that things ended up this way.

Big fandoms are always bound to be toxic at some point. The more people in a fandom, the higher the chances of having assholes among us. Unfortunately, it happens. And you’re right about all the fucked up shit that happened through the years, the LIS2 situation was especially heartbreaking.

But you’re also leaning into confirmation bias.

I’ve seen people on Twitter and TikTok and Instagram and here making fan cams of Gwen, saying she’s the best new character, arguing that she would have been a better love interest for Max than whatshisname and Amanda (and I echo that sentiment, Gwen rocks and I’ll fight the transphobes with my bare hands if I have to).

I’ve seen people hold dearly Sean and Daniel’s story, making the ‘squad’ sweatshirt sell out repeatedly in that website that has LIS stuff.

I’ve seen people saying they want to protect Moses at all costs, even calling for everyone to be respectful to the VA and to leave him out of the madness, just like with Hannah Tell.

If we’re having dinner in a restaurant with 100 well behaved people and there’s one or two or even ten assholes screaming and throwing things to other people, they’re going to ruin the experience for everyone else. They’re going to be loud and annoying and you could leave saying you’re never coming back to that restaurant. That’s fair. But the fault falls specifically on that group, not the other hundred people that were minding their own business and enjoying their dinners.

Nowadays, it’s impossible to enjoy any fandom if you don’t find the four/five weirdos that enjoy the thing as much as you and you create a nice little bubble of the stuff you like and the people you want to interact with. It’s sad, but it’s true.

This doesn’t mean people shouldn’t be held accountable and that we shouldn’t try to take out our own trash — I’ve been calling out an awful person on Twitter that’s been harassing and insulting the devs for the last few days. I reported them, I tried to reason, I did all the work until there was nothing left to do but to block them.

Sometimes you can make a difference. Other times, you can’t.

Now, are you suggesting that the whole pricefield fandom deserved this? That we all should be punished? That we’re all implicitly responsible for the misogyny, the homophobia and the greed of the capitalistic machine? Wow.

The simple truth is SE and D9 wanted to pander to casual gamers and gamebros cause they thought that would give them more money. The truth is that D9’s toxic work environment (reason enough to boycott everything they put out well before the pricefield fiasco) influenced this game to the point of being lead by people who didn’t understand the first game and that hated the themes at its core.

You think the pricefield fandom is bigoted and entitled? Oh boy, have a look at all the articles about D9’s internal affairs: N*ZI symbolism, misogyny, sexual harassment, homophobia…

You think the majority of the LIS fandom is toxic? Then take a look at what the casual cismale straight gamers are saying now. They’re the new LIS:DE fandom. I’m not going to reproduce the comments and the absolute vile things I’ve seen them say post-DE gameplay reveal and the break up confirmation, but I’ll show you a glimpse of the reactions:

So, in the bitter conclusion, you might be right: just like Chloe, we might deserve all of this because after all we’re loud, we’re queer, and we deserve to be punished.

Just like Nathan said to Chloe in the bathroom, the devs were asking this to the pricefield fandom… “Nobody would ever even miss your "punk ass" would they?”

Well, fuck around and find out.

[jrueships]

Biggest squicks with the nba fandom?

squick?? AW, that's a cute word!!!! im stealing that now, thank u anon! for squicks in the fanfom.. hm um probs colorism towards dark skins & its unseen seen effects . i feel this way toward Fandom in general and life lol. U'll see it everywhere of course.. huzzah..

anyways yea. i feel like the nba should have a way bigger Fandom on here as a sport, i mean. At least bigger than some. The players don't wear a helmet so u can see their emotions, their expressions! Everyone's taking high quality pics up close! The ball isn't the size of a pebble going 50 mph like in hockey lol. There's no helmets!!! U can see them!! Like! I love it! I love seeing faces! I love football but it's the celebrations that rlly make it, esp when it's a pretty wr who u just know is gonna take his helmet off and do smthing funny for the cam!

But that's also probably why it doesn't have a big tumblr Fandom .. u can see their faces .

Even if u couldn't, u'd eventually see most of them aren't white so. Yea .

And abt the colorism aspect, most of the players that do have a big Fandom are light skin. That's why im not the biggest fan for 'all x positions are x' bcs i feel like that's a big thing in football where all qbs are bttms. Which is funny, and i can see it! Im not trying to ruin ppls fun! But when u see how a majority of qbs are usually white for most of history.. and the ones that aren't get some attention if they look like Tua .. but if they look like lamar jackson.. good f'ing luck trying to find bttm fics for that even tho dude's got a bbl . Even tho i believe in switch supremacy for a lot of ppl (lamar included), i feel like i gotta fight for more ppl like lamar even being able to bttm at all.

Meanwhile ppl like luka or Joey b are just automatically always bttms bcs. Yea. They're 'pretty', so u just gotta apparently. But ppl will say jrue holiday is pretty! But does he have any fics at all of him bttming? Nah. Don't gotta for him. Hm. Wonder why ( I know) .

And with the rise of biracial nepo baby kids in the nba, some of them rlly gravitate to the pg position bcs it's like the head of the machine, and they think they can run that well with all the experience of their pops. So all pgs being bttms are kinda just gonna turn into that qb scenario where it's all light/white pgs are bttms and the other guys can be included thru spoken word sometimes but Def not on paper. And I hate saying this bcs i feel like a Debby downer or smthing. I'm not even trying to call out anyone or anything, it's rlly just a personal vent noticing thing that i can't point out specifics to, i can just say I've felt things.

Ppl go into Fandom to have fun! I'm not trying to police shit. This is all personal venting. But like im here to have fun too, and when u happen to be able to notice more stuff, u kinda just. Notice it. And it doesn't feel fun

And I'm not saying they're totally ignored, dark skin ppl in media. We're def modernizing somewhat . But when dark skin ppl usually ARE included, it HAS to involve a lighter sided person. And it's usually the lighter person bttming and the dark topping. And like i can get it, u know. Sometimes it's just the personality dynamic where the appearance happens to have that! But sometimes the appearance seems to overwhelm the personality aspect, or the personality just isn't showing that strength in the fic and it starts to feel. Weird.

I'm not saying all ships where the lighter one bttms are bad tho. I'm not. But I am saying that it fucking sucks to always have to fight hard against 'absolutes' when the absolutes are always against u . Like. Idk. When i had a luka ship with dennis (a black player whos not lightskin) and mentioned how Dennis was a bttm and all a sudden i got an ask abt how luka can't be a top . Like. Alright man.

U know, cus it's like. U'd never get someone defending idk. Jaren like that. Unless ure me Lol. But that's the thing, like it always has to be me or smthing against the world which is fucking stupid bcs i hate that thinking. It's so selfish! Which makes it less fun to be in the Fandom sometimes bcs it feels even more isolated in an already isolated space sometimes. But that's a personal thing. Anyways

Yeah. It's just tiring sometimes.

It's like the only ships that have white/black player where the white guy is a top.. the black guys GOTTA be a power bttm or SMTHING to explain it like. We have to explain why our beloved princess white guy isn't bttming to idk some black dude lol. But if u reverse that then the white guy bttm doesn't have to be a power bttm bcs no one blinks an eye bcs it already makes sense to them or whatever. Lol.

Lol ..

[isagrimorie]

A Look Inside the Writers Room of AGATHA ALL ALONG with Jac Schaeffer & The Writing Team - FYC

Notes:

Jac Schaeffer loved the idea of a Mare of Easttown, a prestige TV parody. Similar to WandaVision.

Episode 2 is the real pilot episode of the Agatha All Along show. Because episode 2 had so much exposition going on. The writers thought episode 2 might be a two-part episode. The writers decided against the two-parter idea. They needed the coven to be on the road by the end.

The original antagonist idea was the Debt Collector. The Debt Collector was a Witchy T-1000 that would pressure the coven forward.

The Debt Collector was originally a man until Aubrey Plaza entered the picture. The Debt Collector became Rio, and only then did Rio/Death have a romantic backstory with Agatha.

The original conception of Death's speech patterns was of someone from another age; because Death is a being out of time.

According to Schaeffer, Aubrey Plaza is such a specific actor and has a very present energy that the ancient speech patterns didn't work for Aubrey's energy.

Jac: "I know, we've, like, that is the some of the fandoms disappointment is that they didn't quite get enough of her. But I'm like, I don't know, we might have melted the platform."

Not with that attitude, you can't!

Joanna: How did the team decide what needs to stay versus what could be cut? And how did this pacing and storytelling choices? Who wants to tackle that?

Jac: I mean, I think it's me. I'm the one who cut things. We knew that Jason's episode would be substantial. Let's see. What else? I think it was a surprise that Giovanna's episode, it was a surprise that we were like, we're going to do the whole big musical number. And then we're also going to have all of this falling action in the campfire. And then it was a surprise in post, on the day, on set and, then in post that really that episode is all about that final moment between Rio and Agatha. We thought we were doing a musical number episode with a demon, and a curse, and a whole bunch of stuff. And it turned out we were just doing two ladies almost kissing. And THAT was the thing. I mean, it was on the page, but we didn't know. So that ended up being much longer than we thought.

Episode 7 started as Poseidon Adventure, Murder on the Orient Express, and Death on the Nile. And then climbing the tower.

Jac took inspiration from Memento. Gia and Cam outlined the story chronologically and color-coded certain chunks.

And now, we go to the most contentious part, Episode 5:

Laura Monti wrote a lot about Salem Seven and their backstory. They had to cut for momentum in the episode.

Monti also wrote more on Agatha being a medium, and the lore behind it. It could explain why Agatha is the spirit witch. And, why mediumship was Agatha's trial.

Also cut for pacing: a longer broom sequence. " --the length of that, like how we got into it, like what we actually were seeing."

Another reason why the scene was truncated was because they were committed to practical effects.

Other ideas nixed because they committed to more practical effects and less CGI: Vines that can move on their own. A CGI skeleton Sparky the dog.

LOL, Jac really taking to heart on spitting on the concept of 'Save the Cat'.

Megan McDonnell suggested Rio cut with her dagger through the canvas. Peter Cameron suggested the last trial as a very sparse room where nothing could grow.

Agatha would have seen Eddie before she announced herself to Billy as a ghost. She would have razzed Billy about Eddie. 

There was more on the page about Agatha giving birth to Nicky. It would have tied into episode 2's Witch Kit. But the witch kit idea was nixed. 

The reason why they showed Agatha giving birth in a natural and raw way. Jac wanted that for Wanda in WandaVision. Disney gave a note that Wanda should give birth behind the couch. So now Jac was able to scratch that itch.

[harrowharkwife]

camilla or pyrrha for the character ask meme!

THANK YOU EMMA FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT CAMMMM MY GIRL.... CAMILLA DARLING

favorite thing about them: where do i even fucking start. her skill, and strength. her wit, she's so goddamn funny. her resolve. her bravery. the quiet ferocious intensity with which she loves and cares about people. as tragic and troubling and fucked up as it is in canon, i find her perennial tendency towards pair-bonded dysfunctional codependency to be. ALARMINGLY relatable. i love her flat affect. i love her observational skills- she's clever, and perceptive. i may or may not have an enormous crush on her. i love her loyalty and devotion. i love (read: hate) her tendency to deflect any and all important personal questions. i love that she doesn't let go. i love her love for spreadsheets and sharp knives and sensible shoes and sketching. i love her impeccable bedside manner. i love her and her letters and her cassette tapes and her fuckass bob and her smile that makes the earth want to marry her and i love her slate-clay eyes and her laugh. i love that she fought like her heart had already exploded.

least favorite thing about them: i mean, with camilla this question is really more of a "most concerning things about them," isn't it? her codependency, her lack of individuation and independence, her refusal to develop her own identity and exist as her own person. which, like, from one autistic bitch to another, girl i Get It. if i could get away with making myself a satellite accessory to another person instead of having to figure out how to be a person myself, if my society had groomed me to do exactly that from birth, yeah, i would probably do the same thing. being a person is fucking exhausting. but it's also so, so worth it, and it breaks my fucking heart that cam never had the chance, and that the people in her life by and large never encouraged her to really try. we do see pal pushing her on it a little here and there from time to time, and i appreciate that, but it was clearly never enough to stick, y'know? i hate how self sacrificing and selfless she is, i wish fandom at large would talk more about her depression, i want to give her wellbutrin and a hug and therapy.

favorite line: too many to choose. life is too short and love is too long. i don't let go, it's my one thing. sure, it's a nice handkerchief. i think there's another teaspoon full of blood in here somewhere. camilla hect fought like a grease fire. the cohort has taken the rest of him away and i don't know where they've put him.

brOTP: gideon, though i am a lover of the cam/gideon agenda! also nona, and palamedes.

OTP: dulcie, but i also love campyrrha, in like a mutually sorrowful toxic cathartic cav4cav grief sex sorta way.

nOTP: idk that i have one? i'm not really into cam/corona the way some people are

random headcanon: autistic like i mentioned earlier. i think she'd love cats

unpopular opinion: personally speaking I'm not a shooter for the aro/ace cam agenda, though i don't have anything against it!!! I've definitely seen it done in fascinating and lovely and compelling ways before! it's just not how i personally interpret her, but i think that's literally just a personal grudge on account of being an autistic woman with somewhat flat affect, and having seen fandoms Immediately jump to hit every serious-mannered, autistic-coded woman character that has flat affect with the aroace headcanon stick Immediately and at first blush without interrogating the potential stereotypes and assumptions behind that choice. not saying that that's what people are doing with cam at all, just that it was a general pattern i was observing across fandoms- honestly i see the logic behind it with her, and i don't think it's a "wrong" way to interpret her at all, i think it's perfectly founded! but unfortunately i am just projecting on her and she got caught in the crosshairs of me deciding i had Had Enough and that it was time to draw the "let autistic women fuck" shaped line in the sand and take a political stance 😂 you understand. aroace cam truthers are some of my most beloved comrades in arms. peace and love on planet earth

song i associate with them: EXISTENTIAL CRISIS HOUR! BY KILO KISH. see also: butterfly net by caroline polachek, true blue by boygenius, my friend by hayley williams, ***look at me now by caroline polachek,*** francis forever by mitski, the body is a blade by japanese breakfast, crude drawing of an angel by caroline polachek.

favorite picture of them: im on mobile and also stoned outta my gourd so I'll rb this with some art tomorrow!

ty emma!!!!

[dreamylyfe-x]

Hi, I am pretty new to the Shameless/gallavich Fandom but first I LOVE YOUR FICS

Second, I've read some of your meta and I don't know about soaps but novelas and kdramas under my belt, I agree the come and go of Noel probably saved them from drama in later seasons, they probably have had them broke at one point also, they refused to make Mickey a principal, but one of my fav parts of s4 is that he finally gets his own arc (pimp and all that apart) and I'd have loved to see him explored outside his relationship with Ian

Hey! What an amazing surprise this is!

First of all, thank you.

Second: Novelas, kdramas (I have watched my share of t-dramas -- Devil Besides Me and Meteor Garden forever), Shondaland -- they will all give you the gist of that soap experience. My feeling is that we'd get a season six where both Mickey and Ian sort of struggle to figure out their adult lives -- and that's probably a decent enough story. They likely marry them in season seven. And then they spent seasons 8-11 (or however many seasons they get to keep them) messing them up. Not because Shameless burns plot the way soaps and novelas do, but because 11 seasons is a lot. And at some point they will decide they need conflict for Gallavich and that conflict will be in the era of Gay Jesus-type writing and I'm confident we'd have been very upset by it.

I will say I don't think they so much refused to make Mickey a principle as they didn't know for sure what they wanted to do with American Mickey or where he fit into their pretty full roster. Like, there was always a chance for him, since I believe his British counterpart sticks around, but he's not filling the same role that US Shameless Mickey does. Also, shows has a budget and I can completely see how they might not have had the money for him until season three.

In season five, Cam and Noel did an interview with Buzzfeed where the EP, Etan Frankel, talks about how Mickey turned into the character he'd become at that stage, and it's clear that they don't quite know where they're going with him, and then once they shoot 1x7 they know they've got something interesting to pursue. There are a lot of moving factors in making use of that, though, including Cam's age and how ian's character balances out with his siblings in terms of storyline. Gallavich get one of the most dramatic moments of the entire series in season three and I think that's really when they shift into being primaries on the show. More and more, they start to drive fan engagement online and that sets up season four where, absolutely, Mickey vaults ahead in terms of how much the show is paying to his inner life.

Part of that is because Cam is off filming The Giver, so he's not around for half the season, but I think the other part is what Etan is talking about in the Buzzfeed article -- they just know Noel can deliver. I particularly always think about this quote, in regards to both Noel and Cam as individual performers, but also when I think about their creative partnership:

As a writer, you feel secure writing a scene knowing they're going to knock it out of the park and they'll find things you didn't necessarily intend, so you find beautiful moments. It's exciting to see those dailies come back and saying, Oh wow, that wasn't even a moment in the script, but they've made it become a moment.

I know this is why we get so much Mickey in the first half of season 4. Not just that he needs to carry the torch for Gallavich by himself but because the writer's room knows they can give him that scene with the picture in the bathroom and the performance will convey how much Mickey misses Ian. This is also clearly when he essentially becomes a point-of-view character -- and he continues to be until he leaves the show in season six. So many key moments in those two seasons, particularly around Ian's illness, rely on the audience seeing Mickey's reactions and moments of realization. His confusion in 4x12. His reaction to the suitcases. His meltdown after Ian is hospitalized, where virtually his entire reaction is silent across two episodes. It's really great that they trusted him to do that. It's one of the reasons I think the story works so well.

Anyway. I find it a little jarring, when Mickey comes back, that he isn't quite the POV character he was. It improves in season 11 and we get more Mickey-centred storylines. But I feel consistently (particularly in the late seasons when I'm really not that invested in the rest of the story) that there was a lot more room to use Mickey the way they used to. But by then, it's a different kind of show.

[silverstudios]

Veldigun/Human oc!

Okay so- The oc won the vote thing but unfortunately she is saying No to being drawn out- and so instead I will type her out and hey, maybe the fellow artist of the fandom can help me. Putting this under a read more cause I am gonna ramble.

Okay okay okay- I should mention this oc thing happens many years after the main doai story- In this case, the sitcom story line where alex turns into a velgiun (I promise this is relevant)

Her name is Beatrice- but everyone has always called her Bee. She's 17, has black hair, brown eyes, small in size (4'11), and her fashion sense would likely be kinda cottage core but if cottage core and pastel goth mixed. Crop top jean jacket with flower patterns along the edges, honey pot dangling earrings, A novelty bee backpack, so on and so forth.

She's quite energetic and friendly, although she's not the most popular kid but she's alright with that. She's got her friends, she's got her brother, she's got her moms, she got her mysterious (Yet wealthy and loving) god father (Who she's never seen face to face, only ever phone calls and once they tried zoom but he couldn't figure out how to turn the cam on.) She's hoping to study to be either a botanist or a biology once she gets to college age, which her scientific family loves.

She also has a fasciation with the super natural, with ghosts and ghouls and cryptids. This is...less than popular with her parents, and her god father seems to hate it, always trying to suggest and recommend different interests to have or to focus more on her main interests. It's not like she wants to upset them, it's just that....learning about creepy ghost stories and haunting old legends just- feels right. She can only assume the distain is because of those old Smiling snatcher stories, but those happened like- 23 years ago? She didn't get why everyone was still so hyper focus on those old rumors...

Well- after her school bus, heading to a field trip out of town, got body slammed by something massive and blue, she'd wake up maybe a hand full of miles away, head pounding, heart feeling just about ready to breach from her chest....And patches of her skin turned black as night with pale yellow strips, a tail with a stinger on the end and a pair of stripped wings that had torn apart her jacket to escape.

And well- I do want to keep the rest quite but I hope this caught your attention. This is basically what happened when I saw alex turning into a velgigun and I went- Hm, I want to make something like this but with a twist. Guess you all will have to wait and see what that twist is :D

[tabieeee]

30 Day Fandom Challenge

13. Who's your favourite protagonist?

THE BIGGEST OF BLU BOIS

TITAN CAMERAMAN

I love the cameraman and the titans, and this guy is both, it's great.

He looks badass, he IS badass and goddamnit he's so cool. The oldest of the titans and the one who got the biggest fkin beating and kept on walking despite it. love that shit. now please sit tf down and let your lil cam friends repair you, you goddamn idiot.

his dumb self-sacrificial ass is out there SOMEWHERE and istg he better still be alive and kicking. bring that boi home, he had enough.

14. Who's your favourite antagonist?

Shit I got two, okay first of all:

mfking Skibidi Scientist. look at that smug asshole.

He's done the most damage to the Alliance by inventing the goddamn parasites, infecting TSpeak AND controlling TCam with TV-tech.

He is cruel and sadistic and a FUCKING AWESOME VILLAIN. His death was so damn satisfying and so well earned by TSpeak, I am so happy for the boi to get his revenge on the man that forced him to kill so many of his friends. This guy lead to the creation of a lot of very interesting episodes and conflict, I love it.

Now the 2nd one..

Astro Juggernaut. I mean c'mon he looks cool as shit.

He's the next big thing in my head, I look forward to seeing more of him and his defeat. He's epic and I love his personality so far.

"Get up. GET UP."

DANG that's menacing. I love how TTV trolls him, but then this guy doesn't allow himself to be a joke. He IS dangerous, he IS intimidating and he doesn't mess around.

He makes me think of an evil paladin, very interesting guy.

15. Who's your favourite side character?

Literally all of the miscellaneous cameramen, speakermen and tvmen

Look at them. they're all adorable. I always look out for whatever is going on in the background in case there's some shenanigans

random hardwares are the best, they're just doing their thing, minding their own business, having fun & stuff

honestly one of my favourite parts of the episodes is jus looking at all the nameless lil guys

[julessworldd]

Valentine’s Day with GOT/HOTD babes modern

A/N: A quick idea for you guys and my present for saying thank you for the support of my writing. It’s been amazing writing for a new fandom and getting new mots y’all are the best! So happy Valentine’s Day from me :) I love you guys 💓 @daenerysapologist @valeskafics

Warnings: grammar/spelling errors, implied smut, marriage proposals, romantic shit

Robb: Okay man is a simp all year round, but Valentine’s Day and your birthday he goes all out each year. Breakfast in bed with your favorite breakfast foods and drinks. Dinner at the restaurant you had your first date at. He’s a sentimental man, like his daddy. Buys you an outfit and takes you out on the town, a walk after dinner. Then takes you back home and you have a nice night in the backyard under blankets looking at the stars. You definitely know how much you are loved with Robb

Theon: A romantic but loves an excuse to buy you stuff without you telling him he’s wasting his money. Wakes you up by kissing you all over and whispering sweet words of love in your ear. Definitely messes with you the whole day, making out in bed, on the counter, where ever he can get you. Gets you a pretty necklace, a nice outfit, a pink lingerie set from Victoria’s Secret (reference to bels cam girl series 💀💖) a good ole fashioned wine and dine with Theon

Jon: Loves Valentine’s Day he gets to show you how much he loves you on that day and your birthday. Jon makes you breakfast in bed, makes the bed, draws you a bath with nice soaps, bath bombs, roses in the water, candles around the tube. Still gets nervous about asking you if he can join the tub. Of course you let him, he lets you lay your back on his chest. Washes your hair and body while kissing you and laughing enjoying the time with you. Would be a guy to propose on that day. I don’t think he would make it a restaurant proposal, more of a scenic view type. Where you two go on walks and relax in nature, he had Sansa and Arya make it all cute with candles, fair lights and pictures.

Jaime: Jaime loves spoiling you no matter what day it is, but is like Robb two days out of the year he goes all out. Wakes you up being under the covers messing with you. Afterwards, he carries you to the kitchen for a breakfast. Tells you to get ready because he’s taking you out for the whole day. Takes you to your favorite places, a little shopping, a cute lunch date at your favorite restaurant, flowers. Then dinner he takes you to a fancy restaurant, gifts you a necklace that has his name. Later on you notice the wait staff is watching you guys. Soon as you ask him what’s going on, you seen him on one knee and a velvet box in hand. He takes you to the place he first said he loved you and tells you how much you mean to him and how he still loves you.

Aegon: Aegon is definitely someone that shows his money off even to you. You love him for him not his family’s money, but that’s his love language. A huge shopping spree, a fancy lunch and dinner, sends you money to get your nails done but request you to get something he wants for the special day.

Aemond: A secret hopeless romantic for his partner all year but valentines is one day he shows it off. Him and Jaime would do the same thing, take you shopping, a nice lunch just the whole day is about you and just you. Aemond would hand write you a poem and would mean every word. Definitely would think about proposing to you that night but wants it to be the perfect moment.

Cregan: My boy is a simp like Robb! Plans this day out after your birthday so it’s a ways a bit from that he plans it out big. Takes you somewhere nice and warm like Hawaii, Costa Rica, Bahamas the week before. A romantic getaway for you two, would definitely propose on the beach at sunset. A nice dinner that’s outside a private beach. tells you how much he loves you and wants to be with you forever. Cregan and Gomez Addams give the same vibes for their partners. Starks are simps in my book

[loftec]

Weekly tag Wednesday Thursday part 2

Hello beautiful kittens! 🐈‍⬛ Today’s tag game is about our wonderful fandom 😍

Thank you for the tags, @deedala and @wehangout! <3

How did you get into the fandom? 

I was watching gay compilation videos on YouTube and found the Gallavich season 1-4 video, then watched too many seasons of Shameless UK (because I didn't have access to US) then watched five seasons of Shameless US, then spent 3 months reading the whole tag on AO3.

How long have you been here?

Since... 2015?

What’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?)

I would say AO3, because I was on there reading people's fics for a long time before I started following their links to tumblr.

What’s your favourite now? 

Tumblr!

Which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom?

@the-rat-wins for sure, but also @wideblueskies @damnnmilkovich @grumblesandmumbles @beckyharvey29 @mimilaroo and a few others that aren't really active anymore

Which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and want to get to know?

I'm so bad at like, retaining what I thought of people before I get to know them? But I'm pretty sure I got @the-rat-wins to follow me back by photoshopping a picture of Cam and Noel at an event together? I absolutely remember thinking I wanted to be friends and what makes better friends than a creepy little photo manip gift?

First Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember)

I have no idea, I read so much fic. Here are my old rec rambles.

First Fan art that blew your mind? 

Most likely @luluxa 's art of Mickey...

Fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love?

Not sure if there is one, I have tried most tropes just to check them out, and I have liked tropes I don't normally like when it's just the once and it's done in some interesting or particularly skillful way, but I don't think I've ever done a 180 on something? I suppose! I usually start out only reading canon compliant fic when I'm first entering a fandom. Then I will either run out of steam or start reading AU, or fully just transition to only reading AU (which is what happened with Shameless, more or less). So I normally start out not liking AUs and then given enough time and steam, I will make AUs my whole personality.

What surprised you most about this fandom?

I'm really surprised by what it has become, it's so nice to see all the crafts and community building that's going on here every week, and how nice and drama free (from my vantage point anyway) it has become, in the last few years. I'm not very good at participating, but I really want to because it feels like such an open and welcoming and community-focused space.

Moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich?

I had zero context for this scene when I first saw it, but oh. My god.

Ian or Mickey?

Uuuuuuh I mean. Ian.

Which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? 

Probably Liam haha?

Do you want to answer some q:s? Consider yourself tagged!

[which-hospital]

Tinderbox (30/12/23)

I did end up waking up super early (on accident) and watching this episode but I decided not to post my review until after it had been on TV. I've really got to start getting into writing my essays now cause I have less than two weeks even with the deadline extension but I can manage to spend 12 straight hours thinking about writing it (rotating Casualty in my microwave brain) and not even realise I've done it until my mum's alarm goes off.

Well, it was an episode, wasn't it? Sometimes Casualty gives us masterpieces of television (cough Switzerland) and sometimes Casualty gives us "what the fuck was that?" (cough Too Much, Too Young - that was a very mixed Saturday) and Tinderbox was, at least for me, pretty much in the middle. I guess I wasn't as invested as I could've been cause there wasn’t much of my faves, I'd probably be more positive if we had more of them.

Pretty busy and all over the place episode but that’s to be expected at the start of a miniseries, I guess.

Stevie my beloved, she was great in this one. Elinor Lawless is very talented!! This has got me looking forward to her own storyline even more.

I know Ryan was unpopular but I loved him as a problematic little bitch character. Shows like this sometimes need a Ryan to cause problems for everyone and he served his purpose. Like, he is terrible but it was amusing to have a terrible member of the predominantly very sweet baby nurse quartet. I’ll miss him, honestly. I don’t imagine he’ll come back since there’s a new new (I still think of the baby nurses as new) nurse joining next week.

I made this last night, he didn’t actually die but I still think it’s funny:

I really liked that final shot of Jodie, Rida and Cam together but, to quote my mum as it happened, “I feel like all three of them have wanted Ryan to get beaten up at least once before”.

I love a good family storyline, especially when the family has multiple members in the main cast cause I think it allows for more development of the relationship (gestures wildly at Jan and Teddy), and Max and Jodie were great today. Loved all their interactions. Especially loved their conversation about Max’s kidney failure and especially “I wouldn’t allow it, even if you wanted to.” “Which I don’t.” “Well at least we agree on one thing” and “I’m sorry I’m not what you expected” (!!!!!!!!!!). I think they’re more similar than either of them realises, and I love that kind of dynamic - in both my ‘main fandoms’ my favourite characters are girls whose relationships with their fathers could be described as “I’m nothing like my dad (I’m just acting exactly like him)”. There’s definitely examples of that in this episode but back in Driving Force I remember a scene where Dylan tells them that neither of them should be treating Max’s mum and they both stand there looking at him with the same expression.

I expected that knowing the Teddy infidelity arc will happen would affect how I watch the show and when Paige and Jodie were treating the same patient I was 👁️👁️ the whole time. Whatever, I’ll get over it (hhhhhhh).

Sah was in this but so barely that the credits didn’t actually include Arin, which is weird to me.

I will say I think Casualty has been on weird pacing recently. I’d blame the miniseries format but it feels like there has been some storylines that are too long-running without saying anything new (FAITH) and other ones that get dropped too quickly without enough time to actually go into the ideas they implied were happening.

I think it was a good start to the new series but I would’ve liked them to cut the Faith stuff and have something actually happening with the paramedics instead.

Yes, I know complaining about Faith is beating a dead horse. However, in continuing to write her and this storyline, the writers have invented a dead horse beating machine to keep beating the dead horse perpetually. It goes on endlessly and has absolutely nothing new to say. And while some storylines have been getting these rushed and incomplete conclusions, Casualty had an opportunity to give the Faith storyline a conclusion with her going to rehab and staying there and then they didn’t. Tired of it. Also, not to be mean to the presumably overwhelmed Holby HR department but why would they ask Faith of Drug Theft Fame to come back??? This is why your hospital is like this, your hiring practices are terrible.

[h3ad-quarters]

OOC QUESTION !!! I wanna understand the character / blog a little more if that makes sense !!

Is your character the whole PA system? Or just 1 person?? I'm a little confused, however, I'd like to know if they're like, they man the cams and intercoms or/genq ough, sorry if this was explained already or this is random

Also do you do rps with like, not mutuals? If that makes sense [broken heart emoji, I'm so bad at wording words]

- @the-bite-of-87-lol , totally doesn't want to send an ask with its pressure oc blog, whaaaat noooo

//ooc

yeah it makes sense dont worry!!

So, my character is the voice over the PA system! this is technically a canon blog but ive got so many headcanons running around that HQ may as well be my oc at this point hfjdfds

As for his specific role, He does a lot! HQ in game honestly probably has waayyyy more ppl behind the scenes working there but for this blog its just the one silly dude !

He does;

Announcements Watches the cameras manages the EXR-P Watches over and is practically in control of Hadal Blacksite Manages different teams that are related to the blacksite (MTF, clean up crews, etc) plus a whole lot more that i cant think of off the top of my head - but all in all HQ is a VERY important dude in UrbanShade !!

And YES!!! i happily interact with just about anyone!! oc blogs, other canon blogs, mutuals, non-mutuals, blogs for different fandoms even!! there is so few things that are off limits there may as well be no off limits list!

Im more than happy for rps/general silly asks with literally anyone!! id LOVE more interaction here!!

[electricshoebox]

Unsolicited Lore Dump

That is such a fun title for a meme.

Thanks to @bardic-inspo for the tag!

Do you make your bed? Nope. It's just extra time I'd have to budget for in the day and I'll just undo it again after a whole day of not getting to appreciate that it looks nice, so... nah. I'll make it if company's coming.

Favorite number? Always liked 4. No idea why.

What's your job? I've been a phlebotomist with a plasma donation company for many years, and also did a lot related to training and managing training requirements. Around 3 years ago, my company created a position I was the first to step into where I travel between ~10 different locations across 4 states and help improve their training departments, keep them compliant with standards and regulatory (government/legal) requirements, and develop their training supervisors. I also lead a core group that trains supervisors using a class I got to create. It's a big mix of things I love: traveling, helping people build confidence in their skills, and creating.

If you could go back to school would you? I just don't think I could, mentally. Not to get personal, but I drove myself to a bad mental breakdown in college. There were a lot more factors than just school itself, but still. There are things I wish I could get a degree in, but I don't think I should try, at least right now. Maybe some day!

Can you parallel park? I'm not great at it, but I have to do it more often where I live now, so I'm getting better. I have a backup cam now and that helps a lot.

Do you think aliens are real? I think it's highly probable, but not in the mainstream, Hollywood, little green men way. I think statistically the universe is so vast, there has to be life somewhere. But I think it's likely so far beyond anything we could comprehend, and so deeply different from the entirety of human experience, that we'd be highly unlikely to be able to make contact or meaningfully communicate. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy a good alien story/game/movie!

Can you drive a manual car? Nope. I barely understand cars as it is, I'll stick with automatic.

What's your guilty pleasure? I try really hard not to feel guilty about my pleasures, but I guess I have to echo Megh a bit and say fanfiction, just because it's still something I'm not comfortable being open about unless I know the person understands fandom or shares an interest. But honestly, college kinda destroyed my love of reading, and fanfiction is really what brought it back. It's such a joy to see the stories others come up with, and it's so fun to explore worlds I love through writing.

Tattoos? I don't have any but I want them very badly! I know at least 3 I want for sure. One is handwriting from my mom and my two best friends using song lyrics that are important to me and connected to each for me. Two, a shared tattoo with one of my best friends/roommate to do with our cat. Three, a Watership Down tattoo that incorporates "All the world will be your enemy... but first they must catch you."

Favorite color? Purple, and slate blue. Very fond of teals and deep pinks as well.

Favorite types of music? I've started to joke that music is my love language. I love so many genres. I always come back to alternative, though. Very fond of indie rock as well, and folk. But you can still get me with a good pop song.

Do you like puzzles? LOVE puzzles. I don't have a lot of room to do them where I currently live, and I also go through them too fast to make buying them often worth it, but I could do them for hours.

Any phobias? I have unfortunately discovered I am very afraid of roaches. I can typically handle bugs okay, but those absolutely terrify me. I'm also pretty uncomfortable with heights. Not so bad I can't look out a window a few floors up, but definitely can't look over the edge if I'm on a rooftop or super high balcony or something.

Favorite childhood sport? I'm not sure if this is asking my favorite childhood sport to play or just sports I enjoyed as a kid. For the former, I was not a player of sports, but I did love to swim, and I loved playground games. For the latter, I grew up going to baseball games with my dad and I do have a lot of fond memories of that.

Do you talk to yourself? Oh for sure. I do it the most when I'm trying to work out a conversation in a scene I'm writing (so I just have it with myself out loud and see where it goes) or if I have a scene idea I want to try feeling out in conversation. But I'm not above having little therapy talks with myself when I'm alone, if I need to. Oh, and I'm also a big conversation practicer if something I need to talk to someone about is making me anxious.

What movies do you adore? Oh man, how much time do you have? Definitely the Mummy (Brendan Fraser version), and the Matrix (just the first one, but that one was incredibly formative). The LotR trilogy is always going to be very important to me. Song of the Sea and the Secret of Kells are both deeply beloved for me. And then the Lion in Winter (Katharine Hepburn version). Probably the most influential dialogue-writing inspiration movie for me of all time.

Coffee or tea? Iced tea. Unsweetened. I basically have to have one every morning or I will die. (Okay fine I won't die but I'll get a migraine and be very unhappy about it.)

First thing you wanted to be growing up? I genuinely can't remember what was first because I wanted to do like 7,000 things. I wanted to be an author very early on, but also a singer and a figure skater and a gymnast and an artist and I could go on. Writing has probably been the most consistent thing, though.

Tagging (no pressure): @amanita-jack, @lioness-calanthe, @galaxy-starheart, @mercurymiscellany, and @molliehaswords

[lordoftheringsmusical]

Now that you've seen both the London (via video) and Watermill productions, which one do you think is better?

To me, this sounds like, 'Which one is better, Child 1 or Child 2?', but I'll do my best to answer your question appropriately.

If you define 'better' as more successful from a financial aspect or reviewed more positively by critics, the answer is quick and easy: the Watermill Theatre's production is better. The West End production was nominated for four Olivier Awards and received a fairly good review by the Guardian, but overall, the production didn't sell well and closed at a loss. The Watermill production became massively popular during the run and sold out its final weeks of performances, went on to win several audience choice awards, and was recognised nationally and internationally for its contribution to theatre and accessibility to the extent that it's now being revived by a well-known theatre in the US.

If you're asking me which production I like better, it gets complicated.

The West End production has been in my life since 2015, I've listened to the cast recording a thousand times, I've been collecting everything I can find, from bootlegs to merch, my passion for it has been recognised by multiple cast members and creators to the extent that I've been sent a house-cam recording and rehearsal footage of it - the West End production and its predecessor are all there was until last year. To me, it's still the embodiment of the Lord of the Rings musical.

The Watermill production, however, is the one I got to see live, in person, TWICE, together with some of my dearest online friends as part of a trip I'll remember fondly for the rest of my life. I got to take pictures with cast members and took part in a workshop, I watched people fall in love with the show, I saw the rise of a LOTR MUSICAL FANDOM, something I'd always dreamt of. This production was fresh and new and different, and it was so brilliantly done that it exceeded all expectations. How can you not love it?

I adore both productions more than I ever could express, and I couldn't say which one is BETTER, which one I like more. Those who got into it after seeing the Watermill production might not understand why I cling to the old version so much, but nostalgia is a very strong factor here. It also depends on what you're looking for in a show.

The Watermill production is small and intimate, a cast of 20 actor-musicians who all play multiple roles and instruments. It's extremely immersive and is adapted according to weather and cast. The costumes are cute and practical. YOU are in the story.

The West End production is grand, with a massive cast and orchestra that sing and play the beautiful score to its fullest, a set that extends into the theatre, and breathtaking choreography that includes stilts, silks, and tap - a spectacle. It's immersive, but not overly much.

Both feature largely the same script and songs. They're two facets of a glorious adaptation, and I could not choose one over the other as I love both so very dearly. I am immensely happy about the Watermill's success, that this will be the version that travels around the world and vows audiences and gathers new fans - because this one *works*. The Hobbit version will live on, and there couldn't be a lovelier production to travel to Middle-Earth with.